A MEANINGFUL LIFE

A MEANINGFUL LIFE …

With the success of my first book Permission To Shine – The Gift, I was constantly being asked why I was so happy. Hence this book Shining On.

I guess this is the moment to apologise for my naivety in writing Permission To Shine – The Gift. The book was written from my heart and experience. I used terminology that was not correct. At the stage I wrote the book I saw myself as disabled not a person with disabilities.

For example I had written a chapter on Wonderful Services for the Disabled when I should have said Wonderful Services for Persons with Disabilities. Far more powerful for people with disabilities to gain self-confidence in whom they are. I could have revised the book but a learned friend pointed out to me that I should go forward not backwards.

In the eyes of society, I had every reason not to be happy – I’m crippled with no hope of walking ever again, I’m legally blind and I am no longer the person I was (thank goodness) ) but I not only survived, I thrived. I thrived because of the power of love, inclusion and forgiveness.

What do I mean by a meaningful life? I’ll try and explain what has worked for me. I used to go around looking for someone or something I could blame. As soon as I started to take responsibility myself, my life started to improve – become more meaningful.

I developed a vision and became creative with finding solutions. I chose things that I knew would be successful and surrounded myself with like-minded people. There is no space in my life for narrow thinking or negative mindsets, therefore negativity just doesn’t thrive.

I soon realised I had many meaningful roles in my life – mother, daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, ex-wife, ex-lover, lover, friend, best friend and volunteer to name a few. I found by putting my energy positively into my various roles that my life became full, worthwhile and meaningful.

I am no longer viewed as a non-human or object of pity instead I developed my self-confidence, tolerance and forgave people for just being fearful humans in their reaction to me and just did it!!

For those folk who have read Permission To Shine – The Gift and wonder how my life and family has progressed, I’ll update you. My elder daughter Brittany has gone on to University of Queensland doing a dual degree. She started doing an Arts degree majoring in philosophy and political science. After the very successful first year she added Law to her workload. My younger daughter Serena finished high school and completed the first semester of a Bachelor of Applied Science course at University of Queensland and majoring in food science and nutrition. She also won a placement to teach English in St Petersburg, Russia for four months beginning in September 2005.

My life has just blossomed beyond my wildest beliefs. I’m now being heard AND listened to. I listen to people who listen to me.

Make your life meaningful – reach out to people. Be a conduit for re-connecting people. I contacted a young fellow who was my first teenage sweet-heart. He was thrilled to hear from me but he also wanted news of a mutual friend. I connected both of them and being part of that reunion gives my life meaning. I was honoured to be part of their joy. .

Think back to the people who made a difference in your life, both good and bad. Contact them and tell them, open the lines of communication. Do it with love and out of love. I reached out to a girl I went to primary school with, I hadn’t spoken to her for nearly 30 years. She and I have picked up from where we left off all those years ago. I can say from experience that the results are amazing.

Realise that greed and hatred go hand in hand to make your life and others, miserable. Understand it is your attitude that can make the difference to so many people’s lives

Susan Colquhoun from Zimbabwe and I became firm friends through an email July 2002. Her son, Stephen was struck by lightning October 1997, two weeks before his son was born. He lived in a very contracted/comatose state in an aged care hospital in Harare, Zimbabwe. Stephen passed away in December 2005. When Susan emailed me to let me know, she said now he is free. It is sad for Susan but Stephen is now free to fly. Stephen holds the record for surviving the longest length of time from a lightening strike to the brain.

I had written an article about being in comatose state and how to communicate with a loved one in this state for a Californian Brain Injury website, Susan contacted me and as we say, the rest is history.

She wrote this piece of prose for me and I’d like to share it with my readers;

"Dig deep into the heart of your soul and cradle those wounds that have
scarred the very fabric of your psyche, as if they were precious babies,
and they will heal under the ministration of the one alone who knows they exist."

Susan Colquhoun – Harare, Zimbabwe June 2004

Another dear friend, Ian Johnstone sent me a sonnet which was written back in February 1918 which I felt had an appropriate message for this book.

About our beings we create a fence
Built of conventions and hypocrisies;
Daily we tell the customary lies
And move about our business of pretence.
And yet, within this hedge of deed and word,
Lies something great that yearns for loftier things,
A human soul inspired, a thrush that sings,
But, self-imprisoned, never can be heard.

Ah, tear it down, this veil that masks the light,
Show to the world the human thing you are!
Man makes you false, the gods have built you true;
Think, act and speak the godlike truth in you,
That haply in the dark may shine a star
To guide a stumbling brother through the night.

I now lead a meaningful life. I feel it is my crusade to educate people about disabilities. I want people to understand and value people with disabilities, and also the carers. For too long the carers are as ignored as the people they care for. I know for a fact that I would not have been able to achieve the life I have now if it wasn’t for my wonderful family, friends and carers.

The whole essence of this book is purely a guide written about my experiences of being in a dark room without a door. I was shown a window of hope and took the opportunity with both hands. My tenacity and resilience really paid dividends.

I used to call myself lucky. There is no such thing as luck – it is purely being prepared to make the most of an opportunity when it comes along.


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